I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
