im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Found the puke drawer
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
