I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize