The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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