My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
