dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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