the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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