who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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