I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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