Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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