PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
