sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
