You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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