Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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