is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Quick, to the slutcave!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
