dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
