I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
