I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
