Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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