so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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