great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
