Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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