Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
