I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
