Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
