I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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