I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
