FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
