Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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