did you get engaged???
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
