I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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