About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
