Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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