I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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