it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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