lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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