he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize