these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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