He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
