So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
