it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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