Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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