is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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