they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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