he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize