nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
