I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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