Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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