This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
