well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
