For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize