I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
