Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
