i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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