You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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