she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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