So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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