Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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