Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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