My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
