dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
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i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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