Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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