Already got asked if we're dating
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
